but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
