May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
