a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
