Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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