My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
