As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
