He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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