it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
