Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
BRING THE BAGELS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
