Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
