butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize