I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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