so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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