look no pants
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
