no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
