but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
