well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
