Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
