apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
