john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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