But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
