Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
