yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
