have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
