I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
