In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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