I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
