He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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