apparently the secret to your success is patron
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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