the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
