well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
