One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
