You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize