Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
