Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
