She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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