Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
