the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize