Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
