I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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