3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
