Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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