Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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