If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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