Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
