If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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