Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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