omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
