shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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