Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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