I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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