News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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