this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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