It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
