I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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