whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
