BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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