Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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