so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
