what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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