Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
