Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Two words: nipple clamps
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