I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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