You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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